DiANA

And so it was decided amongst the illustrious members of the hacker chatroom that they would accept one worthless fool for purposes of comedic nature. This is the story of Symp4thetic. Adam began his life of a torrent of horse semen cascading down his mother's many chins like a majestic waterfall. Upon reaching her furted cunt, the semen solidified into a crystal state in adject horror. Astonishingly this allowed the horse sperm to penetrate dozens of layers of vaginal fat yet even this was not enough to impregnate Adam's barren transsexual mother. Yet fortune was with Adam. For she was then mounted by the Duke of Cardiff's prize hunting mastiff who's swollen dog member forced the crystalized horse semen deep into her gully of a twat where an egg was concubed. Adam's bulbous whore of a mother had no money of course so she made her wages by allowing people on the street to kick her in the belly as she carried the young mongoloid. She indulged heavily in crack cocaine appearing in several classic pornographic movies at the time as his filthy jew daygo of a mother could not cease her ladicious lifestyle for 10 minutes much less 9 months. Adam was born prematurely when a steer's penis ripped her placenta to shreds. He weighed less than 1 pound and was only kept alive by being artificially resperated by a mule's dick. Born in a ditch like the worthless piece of shit that he was to be for the rest of his laughable preteniate life, Adam soon found himself orphaned when his gargantian mother traded him to a German who paid her with a half eaten hot dog made from ground rabbi. No orphanage would take the foul smelling diseased welt and Adam was cast to a dump where he was adopted by a family of homosexual seagulls who raised him as one of their own.

These were the only happy times for Adam. Rolling in garbage, playing with broken glass, and eating shit three meals a day. When at the age of 3 they found he could not fly they nearly pecked him to death adding to the already rich tapiestry acne and shitty sipholus. Adam wandered the streets begging for shit and was quickly found by a troop of Germans who had use for him. They put him in school to learn to be a respectable faggot, but Adam was far too stupid. So he was shipped to Norway where his ability to mouth garble half words made him a virtual genius amongst his peers. Alienated once again, Adam turned to computers for solace. Online, Adam met up with chatroom "Room" who quickly realized his value as a doorstop. They agreed to accept him into white slavery, even if he was a worthless half-breed jew nigger. Today, Adam is a worthless faggot for trolls to spit upon. He is a constant inspiration for shit dwelling faggicites everywhere who dream of being laughingstocks. Truly a heart wrenching story.

SMARTASS

You are 71% Rational, 57% Extroverted, 71% Brutal, and 57% Arrogant

You are the Smartass! You are rational, extroverted, brutal, and arrogant. In fact, you could very well be the anti-Christ, as you are almost the exact opposite of everything Jesus was supposed to be. While Jesus says love your enemy, you say love beating the crap out of your enemy. While Jesus raises the dead, you raise hell. While Jesus walks on water, you tend to sink. You probably consider people who are emotional and gentle to be big pussies who are obviously in lesser stature than you. You have many flaws, despite your seeming intelligence and cool-headedness. For instance, you aren't very nice. In fact, you're probably an asshole. And you are conceited and self-centered. Not only that, but you are very loud and vocal about all this, seeing as how you are extroverted. There is no better way to describe you than as a "smartass", I'm afraid. Perhaps just "ass" would do, too. But that's a little less literary and descriptive. At any rate, your main personality defect is the fact that you are self-centered, mean, uncaring, and brutally logical.

To put it less negatively:
1. You are more RATIONAL than intuitive.
2. You are more EXTROVERTED than introverted.
3. You are more BRUTAL than gentle.
4. You are more ARROGANT than humble.

Compatibility:

Your exact opposite is the Emo Kid.

Other personalities you would probably get along with are the Capitalist Pig, the Braggart, and the Sociopath.

"I’m not sure what I am… I just know there’s something dark in me, and I hide it. I certainly don’t talk about it, but it's there. Always. This dark passenger. And when he’s driving, I feel alive — half sick with the thrill… complete wrongness. I don’t fight him. I don’t want to. He’s all I’ve got. Nothing else could love me. Not even, especially not me. Or is that just a lie the dark passenger tells me? Because lately, there are these moments where I feel connected to something else, someone. It’s like the mask is slipping and things, people that never mattered before… are starting to matter. It scares the hell out of me."

I want to fall so severely in love that I bleed from my heart, knowing what it means to lose myself in the enormity of someone else's shadow. I want to understand the meaning of ultimate sadness and cry from a part of myself I never knew existed, cry till my tear ducts explode . . . or dry up, which ever comes first. I want to laugh like God, amusing myself into enlightenment, which leads to heaven and divinity . . . because God is only a human being who long ago began laughing on a whim, and never learned to stop. I want to hurt in every possible way, twist my nerve endings into tiny little knots, burn me alive from the inside out, watch me scream for mercy and then give me some more. I want to live every moment in time all at once, know the infinity of the infinitesimal, be old, be young, be born then die . . . let every atom and molecule of me separate and live a life of its own, till at length they come back together and teach each other their experiential secrets. I want to be a god, a demon, a devil, a saint.. be feared, hated, loved and despised.. make love, have sex, crawl, fly . . . I want everyone in the world to know me, forget me, and then remember me again. I want to be that feeling you can't shake at 4:00 in the morning . . . reminding you of your demise, your future, your wasted life, of everything you should be but aren't, of everything you could be but won't because you're too afraid to try any harder than you are right now… I want to cause you to sleep less and less, yet dream more and more, make you want to commit suicide cause you can't cope, then have you reconsider and live another day . . . only to go to work, quit your job, change your name, move away . . . start all over again and again and again, rejoice repent renew remit, make amends make a mess make it happen make it work make it up as you go along, stop living your life like a lie, trying to convince yourself that everything's gonna be all right, that you'll be happy one day, that you're content with being like everyone else . . . I want you to see what I've seen, be where I've been, know what I know, give into your fears, accept your regrets, let temptation get the best of you, resist the devil, ask for forgiveness then sin again!!! I want you to understand what you've been given, and how easily it can be taken away, or better yet just stay the way you are, unchallenged then tell me how you can justify your half-lived existence.

- "Letting go" is the only way to keep something or someone in your life.
- Cats and dogs understand love better than people do.
- Angels inhabit human forms... I call them my friends.
- Freedom is worth the fight, until you have someone in the war.
- Friends who listen are rare treasures.
- Ice cream, Mexican Food, and alcohol can make almost anyone feel better.
- No one is an expert on me, except me.
- Sunshine promotes a positive attitude, so does the beach.
- Holding onto the past only smothers future joys.
- Truth is simple.
- I need to listen more.
- Change only APPEARS difficult.
- I am more like my mother than I chose to acknowledge.
- There is no end to love; you just move to the next level.
- There is ALWAYS another way of looking at things.
- GPA and Plant Bio 101 don't mean shit after college.
- Peace is a choice.
- I will do everything at the last possible minute but I will do it well.
- I've learned that true friendships will stand the test of distance.
- Whatever you give, eventually comes back to you.
- New adventures, risks, and experiences make you stronger.
- It is your inner power not your weakness that most frightens you.
- Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.
- Everyone has the same amount of faith, they just invest it differently.
- Sometimes crying is the best response.
- The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.
- People are mean. They will always be mean and I cannot change them. They will write mean things, talk about me behind my back, think mean thoughts. This has always been how humans work. I won't take it personally.
- I regret not telling my grandma I loved her more.
- You really think you know someone, especially after years, but no matter what... people are very good at fooling you.
- The phrase,"Fool me once, shame on you... fool me twice, shame on me!" applied to me GREATLY this year.
- I used to be a good dancer. This doesn't mean I can't pretend I still am in my living room.
- You can get hurt... I mean broken down, kicked, and dragged through the dirt (twice)... and still find love and happiness.
- At 21 your metabolism begins to slow... or atleast mine has.
- I regret letting my emotions/craziness get the best of me.
- My life is great. :)